India v England: fifth Test, day one – live

Right, we go again. Here comes the counter!

Naturally, there’ll be a lot of Bazball chatter, so let’s remind ourselves: England have made a belting contest out of a series that should’ve been a procession, and today’s collapse was not really a product of a ultra-aggressive strategy, more fine bowling and frazzled minds at the end of a demanding tour.

“I’m not quite sure what all the fuss is about,” chuckles Chris. “I think that both Root and Bairstow have improved their series averages today....”

Like all good writers, I need to make this about ME ME ME ME, so: I took over at drinks, England 152-3; an hour later, the Test feels almost over.

55th over: England 194-8 (Foakes 8, Bashir 5) This might be the last over before tea and you can be sure Jadeja will want something from it; I love how quickly he rushes through, giving the batter no respite. Foakes turns a single towards midwicket, Bashir plays away two dots, and that is indeed tea,

54th over: England 190-8 (Foakes 7, Bashir 5) Two singles off the first three balls of the over – England are milking Ashwin now, just look at them! – then Foakes takes a third, Bashir beaten by a final delivery that spins across him.

53rd over: England 190-8 (Foakes 5, Bashir 4) Foakes sticks one to cover, then Bashir turns around the corner … hitting Sarfraz’s wrist at short leg! Not sure he know loads about that so India go again, Jadeja hitting Bashir on the pad … the appeal is rejected.

52nd over: England 189-8 (Foakes 4, Bashir 4) Single to Foakes, then Bashir slog-sweeps the last ball of the over for four. He’s got some pretty impressive moxie, and I wonder if he’ll be the one spinner England use at the start of their summer.

“Looks like we have another English batting collapse which will be blamed on the pitch, conditions, homesickness, umpires and ICC,” says Aniket Chowdhury. “This is an abysmal display by the English team on an excellent Day 1 batting pitch. Instead of capitalising on the toss and conditions to put up a 500+ total, they are again chasing the game. The matter of the fact is that this blind belief in the mindless Bazball philosophy only worked as a shock tactic at home or against mediocre opposition. As an Indian fan, I don’t mind it though. It just gives us easy wins.”

Yeah, I don’t think I agree with this. England haven’t blamed anyone, they’re developing against the best home side in the world, and Bazball is the only reason this series has been entertaining with matches in the balance through the four or five days. But India win it whatever the tourists’ tactics.

51st over: England 184-8 (Foakes 3, Bashir 0) I know in comms, they keep saying this isn’t a raging bunsen and it isn’t, but when the pitch does just enough or, like this one, does something sometimes, it can be harder to bat on. England have tossed away a few wickets as they do, but the bowling has been excellent and, as I type, Jadeja sees Bashir edge … and Jurel can only palm it away. One off the over, a single to Foakes shoved into the off side, and at this point it doesn’t feel like it matters what this partnership does because the scale of the first-innings deficit will be definitive.

50th over: England 183-8 (Foakes 2, Bashir 0) Cunning: England keep Anderson in reserve, sending out Bashir at nine; he plays away two dots, just, to leave Ashwin with a poxy double-wicket maiden. Already, it feels like this Test is over, five wickets down for eight runs in 37 deliveries.

Mates, it’s good to be back. Wood, pinned on the crease, edges behind, and on a flat track, India’s spinners have put England over the knee. They are brilliant, people, so drink them in.

It’s taken a while, but we’ve got here in the end: England are falling apart. Hartley goes down on one knee to slog-sweep, bat timezones away from body and, falling away by the rope, Padikkal holds on to a fine debut catch.

49th over: England 183-6 (Foakes 2, Hartley 6) Jadeja rushes through a maiden, pressure building.

“On Cricinfo’s live blog, it was wondered whether Bairstow is here for a long time or a good time”, says Arun Narayanan. “Answer: ‘he is here for a good time.’ How can this justify a Test place that must be earned and surely must require a whole lot more hard work. Sure, you can have a good time smashing sixes and make the odd fastest 100 or 200. But, what price consistency? How about putting a price on your wicket? This is befuddling cricket from Bairstow.”

We do’t know his instructions, so it’s hard to judge, but yes, it’s fair to say England have suffered this series because they’ve struggled to convert starts to scores and scores to daddys.

48th over: England 183-6 (Foakes 2, Hartley 6) It’s important to note this pitch isn’t doing loads, but sometimes that’s best for a spinner – a bit but not too much – and just what England need, here’s Ashwin on to replace Kuldeep. I’m a little surprised because given the batters aren’t picking his googly, might he be able to run through the tail? Hartley and Foakes take single apiece, and somehow, between them, they need to build something here.

47th over: England 181-6 (Foakes 1, Hartley 5) This really is fantastic bowling, England’s batters unable to pick Kuldeep’s googly; where’s Ian Salisbury when you need him, eh? Two singles from the over.

“I don’t think there has been enough conversation regarding Ben Stokes’ continued poor form in this entire tour,” says Jijo Vadukoot. “What do you make of it?”

I guess not much beyond it happens. We know who he is and what he can do.

46th over: England 179-6 (Foakes 0, Hartley 4) Hartley’s batted nicely this series and shonuff he gets away with a swat down the ground for four.

“This match really is cricket’s Ode to Beauty,” writes Colum Fordham, “what with the stunning backdrop of the Himalayas, the lovely flighted deliveries of Kuldeep, and the gloriously attacking shots of Crawley and Bairstow. After all the youngsters (Bashir and Hartley) and the young (ish) guns as openers, it feels strangely Old School to have Root and YJB in together. It would be poetic indeed if Bairstow could make an innings to remember to mark his 100th cap. Except he hasn’t. Bother! England are in the Kuldeep stuff.”

Three reds, Stokes pushed too far back to react, and Kuldeep has fifer and it’s not even teatime on day one! Three wickets down on 175!

I don’t know, feels matter-of-principally to me.

This is a spell – really, all these wickets should be b Kuldeep & Jadeja – but specifically here, Stokes is done by the wrongun … is the impact maybe high? I’m reaching.

46th over: England 175-5 (Stokes o, Foakes 0) If Jonny doesn’t score something serious second dig and Brook is available for West Indies, does Foakes keep? Another decent contribution here at least asks the question, but meantime Kuldeep turns one past Stokes’ outside edge, totally befuddling him…

45th over: England 175-5 (Stokes o, Foakes 0) We mustn’t forget to credit the bowling here, Jadeja nobbling Root with one that spun followed by one that didn’t. England are in trouble, again looking for a competitive rather than a definitive or even commanding total.

One brings two! In five balls! They were 137-2, now they’re 175-5 and whether in traditional monochrome or glorious Bazballian technicolor, you just cannot beat an England batting collapse.

More in hope than judgment, I think.

This one straightens, beats the bat and raps the pad; it looks good to me, and England are doing their thing, India theirs.

45th over: England 175-4 (Root 26, Stokes o) Jazzer from Jadeja, who finds drift and grip to beat Root’s outside edge.

44th over: England 175-4 (Root 26, Stokes o) That was Kuldeep’s 50th Test wicket; well bowled old mate. Stokes sees off the last two balls of the over and so far, so Testvangelists.

There was an edge – a thin one, but Jonny thought he’d hit the ground. He hadn’t.

That came pretty quickly.

Wickets at regular intervals! Bat well away from body, Jonny appears to edge behind pursuing a wrongun, Jurel pouches and wheels away … then up goes the finger, bowler and fielders certain.

44th over: England 175-3 (Root 26, Bairstow 29) Yeah, Jonny fancies this. He waits for Kuldeep, hauling from outside off over midwicket for six, and anything full, he’s unloading the not-insubstantial suitcase. So next ball he goes again, sending two to deep backward square…

43rd over: England 167-3 (Root 26, Bairstow 21) Looking at that drop again, it’s one of those you see in slowmo and think heh, total slice of urine, but Jonny is especially jonny today, his full corporeality behind every shot, and the power was immense. Anyroad, back in the middle, Root eases away his – and Ronald’s – signature glance through third for four, the only runs from the over.

42nd over: England 163-3 (Root 22, Bairstow 21) I love the energy Kuldeep brings to the crease – and outfield – and he’ll be buzzing off the day he’s had so far. Of course, as I type that, Bairstow clobbers him flat down the ground for six, then cuts beautifully for three more. He’ll be desperate to bag a ton here in order to really show all those who want nothing but the best for him – what a mentality! – then, after Root takes a second single of the over, he hammers back a potential return catch that’s too hot for Kuldeep to hold and he now stands wringing his hands gingerly. Eleven off the over and how expensive might that prove to be?

Thanks Rob and morning everyone. We’re poised.

41st over: England 152-3 (Root 20, Bairstow 12) There are a few oohs and aahs from the close fielders when Root inside-edges Jadeja into the leg side, and again when Bairstow thick-edges on the off side. Bairstow decides to eff that for a lark and drags the next ball wide of mid-on for four. That takes him to 12 from 10 balls.

That’s drinks, after which Daniel Harris will be with you for the rest of the day. Bye!

40th over: England 147-3 (Root 19, Bairstow 8) Kuldeep’s series average of 21.20 is second only to the mighty Bumrah. Ben Stokes’ run out of Jadeja at Hyderabad may have done India a perverse kind of favour. Jadeja missed the second Test; through injury, Kuldeep outbowled Axar Patel and he stayed in the team when Jadeja was fit again.

Two from Kuldeep’s over, which ends with a seriously tempting, flighted delivery to Bairstw. He resists the urge to panel it into the crowd and instead plays an immaculate forward defensive.

39th over: England 145-3 (Root 18, Bairstow 7) Bairstow has started busily. From memory he has looked in decent touch in every game apart from the third Test, which will make him even more frustrated that he hasn’t reached 40.

38th over: England 143-3 (Root 17, Bairstow 6) The new batter is Jonny Bairstow, playing his 100th Test, and he gets his first boundary with a well placed clip past fine leg.

“Pope’s 196 is the outlier in a run of very poor form,” writes Max Williams. “Can’t think of another batsman who’s produced one innings of such sublimity amid such poor returns - although Graeme Smith never passed 40 in the three Tests after smashing consecutive double tons vs England in 2003. Not quite the same though.”

You want a high ceiling and a subterranean basement, Brian Lara is always your man. This is his run of form in 2005-06: 0, 5, 36, 30, 14, 13, 45, 226, 17, 5, 0, 1, 1.