Az and Me: A guide for caregivers of a loved one with Alzheimer's

"Paul and I have been through a great deal together," said Colleen Kelly Mellor, the author of a new book called "Az and Me: A Partner's Journey with Alzheimer's."

Over the last 34 years that Colleen and Paul Wesley Gates have been together, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. That was in 2001.

He was there for that journey.

Then, a few year later, there was the horrific car accident, where Gates died.

Doctors however, were able to bring the love of her life back.

"We made each other laugh, we had a good time together," said Mellor, who said Gates was never the same after that accident.

An Alzheimer's diagnosis confirmed what Mellor had suspected as Gates' memory continued to decline.

"He just cannot take care of himself," said Mellor.

"Things were getting tougher and tougher and it was all on me."

That's when Mellor decided to take action.

It's a sort of how to guide for other caregivers, where you can open to any page and get a morsel of advice or a dose of humor.

"They want short and sweet and if humor is in there so much the better so that's what I tried to do," said Mellor. "Join a support group," said Mellor.

Know what benefits your loved one is entitled to.

"Nobody ever said to me is he a veteran? You probably qualify for veteran benefits so this has become my mission," said Mellor.

Be patient.

"Alzheimer's people or any dementia people don't sequence. Everything we do during the day or night we all follow sequential steps," said Mellor.

"They don't have any of that because they've lost all immediate memory."

"One of my favorite lines in front of an audience is just lie," said Mellor of her approach to interacting with Gates.

By the way, after 33 years, Mellor and Gates married last December.

She learned she couldn't be buried next to him at the Veterans Cemetery unless they were married.

As she points out, there's so much to think about when your partner has this memory robbing disease.

Gates currently lives at the Veterans Home where Mellor is a frequent visitor.